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Best Buds – The “In Just Spring” Contest

I’m joining in the Fun at Susanna Hill’s blog this week.

The Contest:  Write a children’s story, in poetry or prosemaximum 350 words. The story must be about something that really says “SPRING” to you and the only other requirement is that the last line must be “[Character Name] knew Spring was really here!” or “[Character Name] knew Spring was here at last!”

Check out the other amazing entries at http://susannahill.blogspot.com.

Daffodils,18March13Best Buds

Sam skipped across the kitchen. “Squitch! Squitch!” Froggy feet tracked muck across gleaming white tiles. “Mum! Look what I found,” she exclaimed, thrusting out her fist.

Her mother grimaced. “Samantha Ann Davis,” she screeched through gritted teeth, “see what I found, after I spent my entire morning spring cleaning.” “Boots, off! Outside with your mess!”

Cheeks flushed, shoulders slumped, Sam turned towards the door. Even the blossoms in her sweaty palm seemed to droop.

“Woah! Watch where you’re walking, kiddo,” Dad cautioned. “Don’t wanta bop you with this bat.” “Dad! Look what I found,” Sam exclaimed, thrusting out her fist.

“Cool, Sam,” Dad replied, as he rummaged for a water bottle. “See ya later. Gotta run! First team practice. Tim! Hurry up! I’ll be in the car!”

Tim sprinted past, bumping Sam’s arm. Daffodils dropped, crocuses careened, and grape hyacinths tumbled across the floor. “Sorry, sis,” he mumbled through a mouthful of Lucky Charms. “Team’s waiting!”

Sam scrambled to reassemble the bedraggled bouquet. CLOMP! CHOMP! A daffodil dangled between clenched teeth. Pumpkin quivered; her tail thumped; she eyed Sam.

“Pumpkin! No!” Sam hopped towards the hound. Off she bounded. The chase was on!

“One fewer won’t matter,” Sam sighed, tossing daffodil remains into the compost bucket. “The rest won’t last anyway, unless I set them in water.”

Sam stared at the high shelf where vases shimmered in the sunlight. She spied the stepstool on the far side of the kitchen. Could she drag it over, climb up and grab just one tiny vase?

But she could imagine glittering glass blanketing tiles, Pumpkin shrieking in pain, and Mum screaming, “Samantha Ann Davis…”

Sam collapsed on the back stoop. Sun-warmed bricks eased the chill seeping through her worn jeans and torn hoodie. Robins wrestled worms from steaming soil as chick-a-dees chattered.

Sam heard a “tap, tap, tap.” Glancing around, she spotted Mrs. Young waving from her curtained window. She was pointing a gnarled finger towards a plate of steaming cookies.

With a broad grin, Sam raced towards her neighbor. “I picked these for you!”

Sam knew, Spring was really here!

32 responses to “Best Buds – The “In Just Spring” Contest

  1. I love this. What’s better than a fist full of bashed in, sweaty, busted up flowers? Definitely a sure sign of spring. Good luck.

  2. Thanks, Genevieve. I’m glad you enjoyed it.

  3. Very beautifully told. I love the deft touches of alliteration here and there, and that the vivid descriptions pass naturally as part of the action rather than butting in. Also, the way in which her unappreciated bouquet finally pays off. I really like this one.

  4. Wonderful, Patricia! I love the twist on “buds” – both the flowers and the friendly, cookie-bearing neighbor! You did a great job showing Sam’s emotion – I could just see her picturing disaster with that vase! – and I’m so glad there was a happy ending and someone to appreciate her offering when others were preoccupied. Thanks for a great entry!

  5. Fantastic story! realistic characters and excellent showing 🙂

  6. I sympathize with Sam…I was once yelled at by my mother for tracking in something when I brought her a bouquet of dandelions. 😉 I’m glad she got cookies though!

    • Teresa, I think this has happened to many of us. Keep wondering what Mum thought afterwards when she realized that Mrs. Young received the bouquet. Thanks for commenting.

  7. Poor little Sam. I remember feeling the same way when I tried offering my mom dandelion flowers. Sometimes we adults just forget to appreciate the little things.

  8. Aw, poor Sam. How could her mom pass up a fistful of daffodils? Your story creates a lot of emotion!

  9. Exactly! Thanks for commenting, Heather.

  10. Your great story had wonderful imagery Patricia. Perhaps the bouquet of rag-tag flowers were destined for Mrs. Young all along. :0)

    • I do like to highlight the interaction of the oft-overlooked elderly & young children, perhaps because I’ve raised my own children with no grandparents nearby. Thanks for commenting, Donnna!

  11. Haha, you caught me with the ending! Excellent story.

    • Glad you liked it, Joanna. I think we both had wellies on our minds. Wish I’d had mine today in Hampstead Heath. So muddy. And no bluebells anywhere that I’ve seen yet! Such a late spring. Thanks for the positive comments!

  12. I like the double entendre with the title and that Sam found someone for her flowers. I hope Sam might try again with her family too? Surely they can appreciate her as much as Mrs. Young (and I) did!

    • I hope that she tries again, too. My guess is that Mum may be feeling a bit sad & sorry by now (at least if I were that Mum, I would; not that I’d “ever do THAT!” Thanks for commenting!

  13. Childhood wonder is easily SQUISHED . . . and easily revived . . . with COOKIES! 😀

  14. Very cute! I’m glad Sam got the attention she deserved…and cookies to boot!

  15. Denise Bruce of Ingleside

    awww i loved this, patricia 😉 I love any and all bouquets the kids bring in, Loved it 🙂

  16. So glad that Sam’s disappointment was lifted by her elderly neighbor who was probably also in need of some companionship! Wonderful story that authentically portrayed the sometimes frenetic pace families operate on…I loved this, Patricia.:)

  17. Beautiful job Patricia! Loved the onomatopoeia

  18. As a mom of two preschoolers, I appreciate the reminder to see the daffodils, and not the mud.

  19. Great story. Nice ending with the sharing of cookies and flowers. I love this sentence – Sun-warmed bricks eased the chill seeping through her worn jeans and torn hoodie. Good luck with competition. Congrats on making it into the top 7! 🙂

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